dzcowart

Just a test

2009-08-18T14:16:00.000-05:00

checking on image publishing problems for dad...

So Far...

2009-08-12T09:20:00.002-05:00

... very tired, long ride into work today, there was an accident on I95 and two lanes were closed. It took an hour and a half to get to work, sitting on my motorcycle, slowly creeping forward at 10mph. I'm tired, hot and dehydrated.

I removed my PC from the living room so that I could use it as my gaming PC again. It is nice to have everything set up again. The thing I wish I had now was a back-lit keyboard. I have one on my mac laptop and it makes the keys so much easier to see.

Of course I have a whole list of crap I want but don't need. Helmet cam, back-lit keyboard, umm m other stuff that I can't think of now because I'm so worn out from this morning.

Going back to work now... trying to get things done with in the next two weeks before classes start again.

Swapping phones

2009-07-24T09:12:00.003-05:00

I didn't like the new one so Helen is using it. I'm using her old one, maggie got just the one she wanted.

I think I would have rather slept in later this morning.

I spent $1.65 on a muffin and two bananas this morning...

I am culling my shelves of computer and physics books. I haven't used them in years and probably never will again.

Some Kind of weekend

2009-07-20T08:54:00.003-05:00

I crashed on Sunday. Worn out emotionally, Tired physically, my introverted side rising like a shark, I stayed inside all day long. I didn't even go outside to feed the cats. Well, no, I did go outside once, to talk with the guy who sometimes does my lawn. Saturday was just a long day. I abdicated family & friends on Sunday. I couldn't tell you completely why on Sunday my brain balked at meeting people I knew well. I just didn't want to go or be or appear.

I vegetated playing video games, it wasn't relaxing but it was mentally clearing.

I played more Warcraft than I had in a long time. It was worth it.

Turning 36 today.

2009-07-14T13:04:00.004-05:00

This was a vacation weekend. I did new things that I had not done in a long time. I went fishing with friends. I talked with Shawn about how I didn't feel like I was "all that" anymore, but I was the only one who caught any fish. Shawn said I had nothing to worry about.

We talked about work and the things we liked and disliked about our different shops. It was good to get away for a while and relax.

I spent the day on Saturday dreading a party and working on Helen's scooter. The scooter was not starting consistently and when you turned the handlebars to the right it would cut out entirely. I got the front end dismantled buy the early afternoon, but I was tired, hot and bug-bitten by then and was having trouble working outside anymore. I refocused my efforts and set up the garage to be a better working area and got a ceiling fan setup and a lot more lights.

The party was a church thing... it was fun but I was so tired from working in the morning that I would have rather been sleeping.

I got up early on Sunday to help with setting up the equipment for church. I like helping out with church setup so this is a good fit for me. I had a good time & got super sweaty, that's my kind of christian labor. Church was good and I helped with the post-service take down.

I went to my last Crown Financial Class Sunday afternoon. I was really tired & hot by then too. It was ok. Overall I (Helen too) haven't been really impressed with the class. It was a great financial bible study, but I thought it was weak on the practical bits.

Maggie had a nice night just goofing off and watching the movie "Jumangi". Maggie is a lot of fun to just hang out with.

Monday I had the day off of work and spent the morning playing Warcraft and watching movies. I rewatched Stars Wars Ep 2. I still think Anikin Skywalker is a whiny punk. Yoda needs to beat him for being annoying.

Monday afternoon I got back to work on the scooter, taking a break for dinner, I (with Maggie's help!) found the wire cluster that had the short in it. I respliced the wire and wrapped it in electrical tape. It starts fine now!!!

Here are some pics from both days:
Scooter Repair Pics

Helen came home that night (from a two day work training trip) and was very happy to have her scooter back. I plan to redo the wires with some solder tonight to make sure it holds properly.

I really like the space I've setup for working in the garage. Now I just need more projects to keep me busy.

Realization.

2009-07-12T23:46:00.000-05:00

I guess I still feel a little hurt. :-(

Going Fishing tomorrow...

2009-07-09T12:45:00.001-05:00

Anthony (& the boys), and Shawn and I are going fishing tomorrow. I almost don't know what to do with myself. It's the first time I've gone fishing in a long time.

What to do, what to do?

2009-07-08T08:01:00.002-05:00

In a few days I'll turn 36. I have no big worries about the future for right now, but I'm not sure what to do w/ life just yet. Some days I feel like a broken record, blah blah blah, whine whine whine.

Time to make some goals. Decide on things I want and move ahead. It's my turn for making life changes. Helen's changed careers, Maggie is starting college, time for me to do something.

hmmm....

just brainstormings...

* visit china
* take piano lessons again
* learn chinese
* take seminary classes
* take a road trip
* get a technical certification
* better setup my savings
* lose weight

hmm this is starting to sound like a new years resolutions list lol. But I actually don't like those, b/c so many are broken that it seems like a waste of time. I am dumping ideas of things I've thought about either before or just off the top of my head, no i won't do all of these things, but I want them listed out so I know what things I think are important.

* work on my renderings again, comics etc
* transcribe old books into modern english
* start a podcast

I think that's all, now to pick something to do...

Me the Patient

2009-07-03T22:44:00.002-05:00

Watched the "English Patient" tonight with Helen & Maggie. It is too excellent for words.

I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. It's a holiday weekend and I am not sure quite how to relax. I thought about riding up to starbucks, but talked myself out of it b/c I have coffee and things to do here at home and so don't need to go anywhere. Sometimes my practicality annoys me.

Or maybe I'm just afraid of doing something new.

Ha!

2009-06-08T08:25:00.002-05:00

Saturday the van died, with Helen in it, on Post St., near the curb.

Not near enough.

Sunday Maggie and I had to go get it out of impound at the towing companies lot. They happen to be closed on Sunday but would come out there if we were there. We waited about 50 minutes for them.

Maggie towed it home in the jeep and I drove the van... very stressful... very very stressful... it was noon and every church in the world was getting out.

We got home and pushed it into the driveway... a passing guy on a bike helped us push it we were having too much trouble and we were both running out of energy.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies, napping and relaxing. I made taco's for dinner.

Sunday morning I was debating if I should get the van before or after church, I remembered the parable of the guy with a bull in a pit on the Sabbath. Jesus said that the guy would go get the bull even though it was work(you're not supposed to 'work' on the Sabbath). I figured getting the bull was pretty important, since Jesus mentioned that it was the normal thing to do. I am glad I got my bull, otherwise it would have been another night's billing for the towing company.

I am also pleased with how positive Maggie was through the whole ordeal too. She was awesome and a big help and wonderful moral support. She kept me up with her drive and spirit. Even afterwards that evening she was happy since things had turned out well. I was still tied up with how we're going to do things from here out and worrying about bills and money, etc. She made me remember, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34.

From the NIV: Matt 6.

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. "

I am still worried about things and am making plans, but tempered with the knowledge that God does what he does and will take care of us. God willing those plans will come to fruition for the better and if not, that's ok too.

Saturday's....

2009-05-02T23:12:00.002-05:00

I've got to find something to keep me occupied.

Otherwise I either go shopping or end up cleaning. The shopping spends money we don't have and the cleaning is crap I could live without.

Long Long Long Week...

2009-04-27T08:42:00.002-05:00

So I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for some test results.

Once I know them I may have to readjust the flow of my life.

Of course these are someone else's results.

And another someone else's test.

But I get to wait.

Another Short update...

2009-03-23T08:29:00.002-05:00

I am about a third of the way through the game Overlord... it's good, but it gets boring. There is a lot of running around and smashing things, and there are monsters to kill but it sometimes seems either overly easy or overly hard and in the middle you just spend time running around. I'm gonna try to finish it though...

I spent most of this weekend cleaning. The house was a mess and I wanted to change things around. Two days of cleaning and moving later, the office is much better setup and the back room is now a reading room w/ big comfy chairs and a nice view of the back yard.

Our AC motor is broken and when I get paid that's where most of my paycheck is going.

We captured the kittens that had been living in the garage. We're feeding them and going to put them up on Craig's list once they get a little bigger. For now though they're living in my office and seem to be fairly happy. Our other cats though are not happy w/ the intruders.

Short Update:

2009-03-09T09:02:00.003-05:00

Got to go see the "Watchmen" movie this weekend. Was good, left you with a kind of let down feeling though.

Restocked on supplies.

i'm getting sick of cooking & cleaning.

I got some Olivia Series V cigars this weekend too. They are good.

Maggie accused me of playing Warcraft all the time this weekend. What's funny is that I haven't played it in a while, well less than usual. I've gotten kind of burned out on it and so I've been trying to read more. I did get some new games this weekend though; Left4dead, bioshock and overlord. Roughly equivalent to; zombies, underwater zombies, and evil minions.

I am thinking of switching rooms again. Mine is getting too hot. Two PC's and a laptop generate a lot of heat.

Back on topic... so I actually agree w/ Maggie, I have felt dimensionless as far as what I do. No hobbies to speak of and no big outside activities. I had hoped the Food Rescue bread runs would be good but only doing them once a month isn't really enough. Also, with Helen and Maggie gone most weekends, it's not easy to go of and do anything. Helen would be mad if I did something exciting without her. So I'm poking around again for things to do.

In the meantime, I'm doing yard work. I'm starting some sunflowers that I hope to plant close to the light pole out front.

Sermon notes

2009-02-23T13:26:00.004-05:00

Well not notes, but doodles...

the Pastor started focused and then the ADD hit and he started to wander and then finished fast... meanwhile... after his wandering started I began to doodle on my church bulliten. I did the cat for maggie and helen. I did the cross next for myself.

and then

I was trying to be entertaining to myself and for a little girl sitting beside me. She just plopped down w/ an angry face next to me. Seems like she was getting teen-angst early. So to kinda comfort her and just to entertain, I showed her my doodles and kept going w/ 'em. It was strange and I wondered about the impression her parents would have... but they looked slightly angry or disinterested too. She did laugh at some of my doodles, and at the spider that really did crawl into the ladies purse in front of us. She frequently went back to angry face though. After the service she took off, which i expected, no need to hang around when you don't want to be happy.

No real update....

2009-02-18T09:36:00.002-05:00

Things are pretty much the same as last time. Worried about money, job, life, work, etc. It has turned mostly warm enough now that I can ride my motorcycle to work more. That's been fun.

I think it may rain this afternoon though, i'm not looking forward to that.

Kodachrome

2009-02-09T11:47:00.004-05:00

A dream:

I was walking in Africa w/ a talk black man. We were walking down roads walled by wooden fences and guarded by 10-year olds w/ AK-47's. They were the children conscripted by the various warring factions to be the new fighting troops. One of them was staring off into space tugging on his lower lip with his finger, and cradling his gun. Everything was dirty, brown and weathered. "Kodachrome, give us those nice bright colors," I sang to my companion. He wanted me to sing, looking for comfort & some sense of solace. He and I were worried that they would shoot us for no reason, not that any was needed. "they give us the greens of summers", I faltered not knowing the words, and mumbled a bit, the fences became the high walls of those used to funnel cattle into a slaughter house. "momma don't take my kodachrome away". We were joined by a white guy dressed for business casual, I sped up to join my companion, I didn't want to fall behind and we kept singing while walking, "Kodachrome..."

I woke up tired this morning, like I'd really been walking & stressed out. That's not too far from the truth, I have been supper stressed lately. Financial worries of course. I don't think many people are not worried about that right now. I hope they'll be over soon though. Helen finally has some steady income and most of our bills are just the bare essentials now. That should hopefully keep us steady until we're more back on our feet.

The biggest problem in dealing w/ this kind of stress is the insecurities that pop up. Did I do this right, should I have done that instead, I shouldn't have settled down here, that kind of thing. I am not a regretful person, but I find these regrets keep popping up in my head circling my brain like vultures plucking away my hopes & dreams.

So, a couple of things have helped me deal with them. One, I talked about it w/ a friend, not about the details of what was going on, but how I was feeling. I wasn't looking for advice, just a shoulder to lean on. Second I know that this isn't the end of the world. It sucks but it's not the end of everything. Keeping that in mind helps. And finally, God has a plan for this too. I think this plan sucks, but it's his plan and he knows what's going on. I don't.

Ok, that's not a couple, but perspective and having someone to talk too are really the best things I can suggest to deal with this.

Cold! A $18 dollar weekend.

2009-01-12T09:49:00.003-05:00

Rode my bike into work this morning. Froze my ass off in the process. It was a little too cold for motorcycling. It should warm up by this afternoon though.

Really sleepy, and just plain tired.

I spent $18 on two books this weekend. I'm not close to them right now, so I can't remember the titles, but they are part of a series called, "The Horus Heresy". They were good mind-candy. Set in the universe of Warhammer 40K, they are describe the Warmaster Horus and his decision to turn against the Emperor of the Empire(Impurium?) of Man. Definately a downer though b/c by the end of the third book(I already had read the first one), only 4 people escaped and all the warrior heroes up until this point were killed off. Oh and uh spoilers btw. Well unless they bring them back in the 4th book, but surviving an orbital bombardment wouldn't but a stretch for these super-soldier guys.

It is interesting though from a faith aspect though. The Emperor is a human but has been genetically altered to be perfect/immortal. Warmaster Horus as well. People are starting to worship the Emperor as a God, and there are 'miracles' to go with the worshipers. Horus starts his campaign against the Emperor b/c he feels that Emperor is seeking to become a God and that he has abandoned the Crusade. The Crusade is the war to bring all worlds under the domain of Man and establish the rule of science and technology as the only true 'religion' and that everything else is barbaric superstition. Horus though unknown to him is being corrupted/lead by the gods of the Warp, a sub-fabric of space&time, where chaos holds sway.

From the humanist perspective, the emperor worship as a divine 'perfect' human seems right b/c humans are the pinnacle of evolution therefore a most perfect human would deserve worship. Other things I don't understand though, a devotion to doing things for some ideal of the Crusade, that science & technology have all the answers (or at least most of them). Working in science I know that's not true, really it always leads to more questions. It seems though they've gotten their science far enough and put a stamp on it as "good" and therefore don't need to expand on it any more. It was strange reading, a totally alien (to me) way of viewing both religion and science, leading to a way of life dedicated to killing people.

It was an entertaining way of spending a weekend though, 2 books, for $18.

Back again...

2009-01-05T11:07:00.005-05:00

After a long & relaxing holiday break I'm back! Well I've always been 'here' but just not posting much. I have been doing more small updates on facebook, which makes me do fewer blog updates.

I had a good time w/ Dad working on our next feature. It's taking a long time to edit since it involves a lot of shots.

I had a good vacation that was really relaxing. I got a chance to start cleaning the house and that really helps my mood. I think that getting rid of the clutter that had built up helped me work through the stress I was feeling at home. I just felt like i couldn't relax b/c there was so much junk sitting around. I plan to work on my office next.

It is filled w/ junk from moving and there just isn't a lot of working space. So that's my next project. I also can't decide what to do w/ my DVD's. Consolidating those would give me the shelf space I need.

It's funny to see Maggie w/ a CD case full of DVD's. I did that with my CD's. I dumped the jewel cases and just used a cd carrier to hold them all, but I put all my DVD's on neat shelves in their cases. It just seems that the valuable thing to me, the DVD's, got setup nicely on shelves while the CD's that I just used occasionally got filed away. I don't think I have a universal truth buried in there, but I just wanted to note it.

Of course several hard drive crashes ago I lost most of my CD data files, so I have to re-rip them anyway so I can listen to them on my ipod. Also, I've got all of Helen's CD's (she had way more than me) to rip as well. So a lot of CD ripping is in my future. Well I was thinking of making a PC for music to attach to the stereo.

Present time almost here!

2008-12-24T09:03:00.001-05:00

Woot! Almost time for goodies!

Making Movies!

2008-12-14T09:55:00.002-05:00

We're stars...

So after watching the guys from Loading Ready Run drive the Desert Bus, I thought that it would be a good idea to start some kind of show. So doing something creative is cool, but content is king, I needed something to actually video.

I thought of Dad's mini-talks that he gives occasionally and recognized here was good stuff that should be recorded anyway! So I called him last week and set about video'ing one. So our first video is up at Bluefishvideo.blip.tv.

I used an iSight camera attached (via firewire) to my macbookpro and a Cannon Powershot IS3 for the close-up view. Both cameras recorded everything (in 1 take). I then edited the videos, splicing them together, in iMovieHD on the Mac.

Changes for next time...
* I kept each audio track with its respective video track, next time i should just use one of the audio tracks consistently through the video.
* More editing pauses, with Dad talking consistently I was forced to make some hard cuts/uneven cuts between views, so that made things more difficult when editing the tracks together.
* Multiple takes, reading the above line makes me think we should do multiple takes, but we're running without a script anyway so every take would be different... I don't know about that one.
* Some shots worked better with one camera, and some better with the other one, I need to probably replace the iSight with another Cannon. I was really impressed with the Cannon, it worked great for this.
* Make the text into separate images, the iMovie software disappointed me here. It had no function to just drop a block of text on top of currently running video. I could make it on the lower corners, or scroll it up starwars like, or have it scroll over the video segment but no just plain overlay of the text itself. I think I may have to switch to final cut pro for that (i think we have that but it's on the iMac).

We now, as many great producers, I have to go buy a new overflow valve for the toilet since ours has slowly stopped working... I can feel the fame now. :-)

Angry face pouting

2008-12-08T14:47:00.002-05:00

;-[

I've got an old firewall box here with some paint on it that looks like that. I go through moods like that too.

No More Desert Bus

2008-12-04T11:09:00.002-05:00

Well the Desert Bus is over. I really enjoyed watching these guys & gals, it was the best "reality tv" show ever. They raised over $70K for the Child's Play Charity. A great event for a great charity.

I started putting books on bookshelves last night. I finally got my room straight enough to start the process. I also need to sort out DVDs too. Well I guess I need to sort the books as well right now they are all mixed together. I like getting DVDs for some reason... I really don't know why. no I don't have a bluray player or anything. I think thumb drives with DVD movies on them will replace DVDs not more disks.

'eh more later.

Desert Bus for Hope 2: Bus Harder!

2008-12-01T13:56:00.002-05:00

Hi all, there is a game called Desert Bus in which you drive a bus from Reno to Las Vegas. And that's all. You don't stop for gas, you get one point for reaching the end of the road and then you turn around and go from Vegas to Reno. If you crash you get towed back to where you started and have to start again. Your max speed is 45 miles/hour. AND THE GAME IS IN REAL TIME! So you play it forever...

So for the Child's Play Charity, some guy(and gals) are filming themselves driving the bus from Reno to Vegas and back. You can watch them at desertbus.org. It's fun because you can watch them talk back to people asking them questions in a chat room while one of them drives the bus. There is also a bus cam where you can watch the road go by. Be warned they've been up for quite a while now and are a bit loopy...

Still Alive

2008-11-26T10:03:00.002-05:00

At work feeling like crap w/ a headache that won't go away. I have not been getting enough sleep recently. We're planning to take a trip down to visit some friends in G'ville tomorrow. I hope the van holds out ok and I hope we make it ok.

I've been really stressed lately and so I'm getting....

blah i just want a short vacation and since this is a holiday weekend of course I'm not getting one.

The theme song from the game Portal by Valve Software, "Still Alive":

This was a triumph!
I'm making a note here:
"HUGE SUCCESS!!"

It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must
because we can.

For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the science gets done.
And you make a neat gun
for the people who are
still alive.

I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now-
Even though you broke my heart,
and killed me.

And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

Now, these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time!
So I'm GLaD I got burned-
Think of all the things we learned-
for the people who are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me...
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
I think I'd prefer to stay inside...
Maybe you'll find someone else
to help you?
Maybe Black Mesa?
That was a joke! *HAHA- Fat Chance!*

Anyway this cake is great!
It's so delicious and moist!

Look at me: still talking
when there's science to do!
When I look out there,
it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are
still alive.
And believe me I am
still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm
still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm
still alive.
While you're dying I'll be
still alive.
And when you're dead I will be
still alive.

Still alive.

Still alive.