Friday, April 27, 2007

Getting into 3D...

So I've been working on some 3D rendering stuff recently. What is rendering you say? Well it's computer software to take a scene of several virtual objects and draw what they would look like under various lighting sources and at different camera angles. It's pretty cool and something I've been interested in for a while. So I am getting a copy of the software Bryce, which does 3D terrain modeling. (That's rendering landscapes, not just a bunch of objects) . Hopefully it will come in soon.

You can see some of my preliminary work at my photo site...


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Monday, April 23, 2007

Good weekend...

I had a good weekend relaxing with Pooks and doing some yard work. It was interesting b/c Pooks had never weeded a flower bed before. It surprised me like learning someone doesn't know how to drive. I thought everyone had at least weeded one flower bed in thier lives... guess not.

We needed the time alone and the time to relax. We've been really active for other ppl the past few weekends so this one was dedicated to us. I had one friend come over Sat. night for a short visit, we had a blast with cooking out and relaxing.

....

{slight posting delay from Monday...}

I'm off this afternoon to help my dad repair his DSL line. He managed to cut it while doing some yard work. I told him that the greatest threat to the internet is a backhoe. I helped him by posting to his blog, cute cat pics which he hates. It's a special treat from me. lol.

Thinking of starting a podcast and a wow blog... hmmm....

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Boo


Pooks scared the crap out of me last night. That's unusual. My reaction was unusual... for most people, I screamed like something was killing me.

I had just finished brushing my teeth and had come out of the bathroom when I noticed a light coming in through the window. I thought, "oh the outside automatic lights have come on because of a cat or something in the backyard." I turned around and looked and It was a bright light from a flashlight waving around and My brain turned in on itself.

my thoughts were, "humans aliens have come to get me." and then I felt something like my whole mind sinking below rational thought and I lost control and screamed, long and loud and high pitched. I was shaking all over and I screamed again at the top of my lungs. I don't know where it came from. I realized in a part of my brain that felt like it was in my heart, that I had to get control of myself. I heard Pooks calling from the backyard, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I was yelling damn-it damn-it damn-it at myself for losing control like that and jsut screaming in general.

Maggie came out to check on me and Pooks came inside laughing and crying. Crying b/c she had made me upset and laughing b/c I screamed "Like a woman."

great.

I don't know why I got so upset like that. There was no reason and if i hadn't gotten control again i'm sure i would have kept going for a while. Something just put my mind in the right place for it to fall over and stop working, then drop into a place where fear took over. Pooks was also disconcerted seeing me out of control, b/c I am usually very much in control of myself and my actions. This was mostly involuntary, "I" wasn't there, it was a reaction with no conscious part of "me" or who I am in it.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. It makes me wonder what part of me is wired wrong or what I really am reacting too (real or imagined) or if this is some buried situation from long ago that surfaces at certain times. I had told Pooks that this might happen if she surprised me or I got shocked in some way.

I wonder what things got shut off in my brain. I think my active imagination worked against me. Doesn't make me feel especially good. I'm not scared, just concerned.

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Sunday, April 08, 2007

Mrs. Norris died yesterday...

Graphic Post Do NOT read if you are squeamish...



Pooks has some very nice pictures ofMrs. Norris on her blog. Mrs. Norris passed away Saturday night.























This is probably the worst Saturday I've had in a while, both good things and bad. Pooks took off in the morning to go to a bridal shower. While she was gone I began cleaning up around the house. We still have tons of stuff in boxes and things not in the right places. I began by completely clearing out one room moving several heavy pieces of furniture around and trying to stage everything so the stuff from the third room could be moved across the house and into the first room. It was a lot of work and even with a short break for TV watching (http://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif). So the house was a complete mess when a lady came by to adopt Babykins. She is a short-tailed tiger cat and daughter to Mrs. Norris. The lady, Amy, came by with her daughter and a Vet tech to check her out. Babykins objected greatly to being picked up and so while curious about the visitors didn't let us grab her to put into the cat carrier. So they took off for lunch and pooks came home. We got Babykins crated and gave her over to her new owners. Amy's daughter looked very happy about getting a new kitten.

Pooks was upset about it, and I felt bad that we had to give her away. It was a good thing though b/c the older cats kept beating her up for being the littlest. So we did some more cleaning and laid down for a while. We settled down to watch tv and play wow. While watching tv we heard one of the cats coughing, something you hear often with 6 cats and didn't think much of it. Pooks went to go check on which-ever kittie it was that had been coughing. She immediately called for me and began crying, Mrs. Norris had fallen over and obviously was in distress. She was limp when I picked her, I began to try a Heimlich maneuver on her, thinking something was blocking her airway. I was holding her head down in my arms trying to force whatever out of her throat. She began convulsing in my arms twisting and writhing and pooping. It sounded like air was coming out of her body and I kept trying to force whatever out of her. Pooks ran and got her keys and purse and I Mrs. Norris and ran to get my wallet and we got into the car hoping to get to the emergency vet. Pooks was completely broken up and trying to drive us. I was cradling Mrs. Norris in my arms when I realized that I couldn't feel her heartbeat. I held her tightly and only felt the blood of my own arms pushing against her. It was horrible. I told Pooks that she was dead. She cried and cried. We hadn't made it more than three blocks when it happened.

I had her pull over, concerned for her trying to drive and at the same time wanting to be double sure. I listened for anything coming from her limp frame. She was quiet and didn't move or react to anything I did. Her toungue was hanging out of her mouth, and had turned blue. I was surprised and how she didn't move or even try to react to me moving her around. I expected the normal cat movements and resistance to anyone trying to get them to do anything, but she did nothing. Pooks cried and cried. Blood and drool were coming out of her mouth. We drove home. We went into the backyard and Pooks got a sheet to hold her in. I began to dig a grave for her. Roots and weeds blocked me from going deeply. My back began to tense up and strain at the extra work. I had already put it through it's paces earlier to day moving furniture and boxes. I pushed through and dug the grave. Pooks was sitting holding Mrs. Norris crying. She gave me her to put in. I placed her in the grave curled up in a ball like she did when she was sleeping. She looked peaceful and content. Both of us crying we began to cover up the grave. Pooks put the dirt back on and I pulled out a large block to cover the body up. I placed another one to be a headstone and Pooks finished pulling the dirt over the grave. We hugged cried and said a prayer thanking God for a wonderful cat.

We went back inside, Mrs. Norris had apparently coughed up a large ball of hair and food. I think that somehow it or a part of it had gotten stuck in her throat. We cleaned up the mess and then snuggled up on the couch. I comforted Pooks while she grieved. This was a double whammy b/c Mrs. Norris was the mother of Babykins. I did my best to give Pooks a chance to grieve and be sad while being comforted. I reassured her that it wasn't her fault and the there was not much we could have done. It wasn't more than five minutes between when we first heard the coughing and when we found her. Hollow words though, it is hard to comfort anyone after the loss of a loved one, I did my best to be there for her though. It was about 10pm now. I couldn't believe how early it was then. It felt like forever had been happening all day long.

We moved around with useless energy and settled in my office. Pooks slept on the bean-bag chair while I played WoW. She got up around midnight and She began posting some pictures of Mrs. Norris. We went to bed around 1am and night was strung with bad dreams of nameless things storming my subconscious.

We also had the windows open b/c it was a nice day but it turned cold over night. So we got woken up a couple of times by the dogs barking first at something in the garbage cans then at each other. We're watching Pooks' moms dog. It joined in the commotion. I got up at 5:30 made coffee and went right back to bed.

Woke up early and went to the 7am sunrise service for Easter Sunday. "Welcome Happy Morning" is one of my favorite hymns. It was hard with getting so little good sleep but at the same time I didn't want to sleep anymore b/c it had already been so unsettling. We walked up to Dave's Diner for breakfast with Mom & Dad. We came back home and planted flowers on Mrs. Norris grave.

Today I plan to do taxes (we owe) and maybe finish a little bit of cleaning. There so much stuff to do that it's distressing and after Saturday, hard to get into.

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