Nearly died yesterday... (again)

So after everything with the tires yesterday. I leave work via the elevator. I hit the button for two coming from five. I'm thinking about motorcycles and riding and helmets and riding gear and will the jacket be hot in the summer and if I will look funny riding around town and the places I want to ride to, talbot island along A1A, seeing the beach WHAM

The elevator slipped in it's tracks about 6 inches.

It stopped with a clanging of cables. I looked at the floor and I had just passed floor 4. I felt the elevator slowly rise up to floor 4 and stop. All of the floor buttons were black and the doors stayed closed.

My heart came down out of my throat. I hit two again and was lowered safely to my destination. I alerted our security desk, they took my info. Today the elevator is stuck on floor 4...

As I was walking out my brain spun with the various incarnation of what happened and the idea that if the safety brakes had failed I'd be dead.... Really though, that wasn't a big deal. If I died it wouldn't matter too much, the world would move on without me. It is something that's going to happen eventually so it's not too big a deal (to me). I think that I've been in this same kind of danger before (nearly slammed into other cars twice on a youth trip, knocked myself out on my bike as a kid, slid backwards down a hill on skis until I lost the skis and then it was just me spinning down the hill until a tree broke my fall). I know some friends of mine and have been really freaked out by it, wondering what would have happened and making changes in their lives because of nearly getting killed. To me though it's a part of living, we all will die one way or another. There are no senseless deaths, death is the natural course of things. Does getting hit by a drunk driver make less sense than getting killed by a falling tree limb, or killed in a drug deal gone bad? We only think we're supposed to grow old and die, but that's a new thing for our civilization and only b/c we have standards and laws that are there to protect us, so we don't die of black lung disease as children working in a mine or other dangerous conditions. I know there is a pattern to this insane world of death and destruction. I know there is a plan for all our lives, the question is do you realize the plan and the planner, can you accept that you have no control over how you or the ones you love will die? Dying is part of life and will always be there, but can you accept it and move on, grieve but not to the death of yourself, mourn the loss of a loved one, but know that you may see them again... or not.